The end of a relationship always sucks, on both sides. That’s not even counting the awkwardness that comes next with dividing your stuff, or your friends having to either dump one of you as well, or divide their time between the two of you like a child of divorce. It doesn’t really matter who has initiated the split, and here’s why:
Surprisingly, you are BOTH in mourning.
You are both mourning the end of an era. Yes, you may be mourning different aspects, or for different reasons, but you are still grieving. How long you dated doesn’t matter, either. Some people can form close emotional connections very early on, which makes it harder when shorter relationships end. The best thing to do for both parties is to accept that you are going to have a grieving period, and work through it as best you can, with whatever helps you.
You both need to re-learn how to live independently of your former partner.
One of the biggest issues that arises once you’ve actually broken up, is how to move forward as an individual and not as one half of a couple. Even little things, like splitting the household duties now take on new meaning. You have been so used to being part of a team for however long, it is almost like you are missing a limb and have to learn to do everything again. Taking it one step and one day at a time is the best option here. Thinking about every single thing that is changing right now will simply overwhelm you and you won’t get anything done that way, right?
You both deal with those uncomfortable questions
Whether it’s an old friend you haven’t seen in ages or your nosy Great-Aunt Edna, you both WILL have to deal with those awkward questions from people who are lacking the tact to listen to the person who told them not to bring it up. Because unless they live a country away, odds are they already know. Unfortunately, we all have nosy friends and family that will want to hear right form you what happened, and sometimes they wont even believe you because what they’ve heard secondhand is usually better and juicier than any truth you can tell. You’ve got to block these people out if you want to be able to move on. Acknowledge their concern, but don’t go into details about the breakup with them. You are only going to fuel the fire, and in some cases, you will look like the bad guy.
There are ways to make it easier, however, especially if you are the one making the break:
- If you’ve been dating exclusively for more than month, do it in person. It’s cowardly and shows a lack of social skills to do it by email or text.
- Don’t make contact with them, until they contact you first. This could lead them into believing there’s still a chance.
- Don’t romanticize the relationship. There’s a reason why you wanted to leave, and don’t forget it.
- Don’t try to be friends for at least 6 months. And then add another month for every year you were together.
- Don’t broadcast your relationships on social media. It leaves too much room for interference and comments by people not directly involved in the situation.
And of course, once you are ready to move on, why not check out Xpress.com for your dating needs?