Dating Advice

Why He Hasn't Asked You Out Yet

When you really like someone, it can be frustrating to wait for them to finally ask you out. If he hasn't asked you out yet, in spite of your connection, there could be a number of reasons why that is. If you're looking to find out, Xpress has got the information you're looking for, to find out what might be holding him up. So, why hasn't asked you out yet? Maybe he never indicated he would, or you didn't give him any signal that he should. Maybe one of you is hung up on someone else, or are already seeing someone. It could even be that he's intimidated by you, or you're already friends and he doesn't want to wreck that. It could be a number of reasons, so keep reading for more info!

Did He Say He Was Going To?

This might sound kind of silly, but really, it's A pretty valid question. Did he specifically say that he was going to ask you out, or did you just assume that the brief connection you've had would ultimately lead to a date? In all honestly, guys don't tend to get as worked up about random connections as girls do, so if he didn't specifically say that he wanted to get together with you, then chances are that he has no intention of doing so. You may have thought that you guys had hit it of famously, and he probably did as well. He's not going to spend as much time as you are gushing over it, though. If he didn't specifically say that he was going to ask you out, then chances are he's not going to. It's not because he didn't like you, it's probably just because he hasn't thought of it, or he's got other things on his mind. Don't worry about it, there's nothing wrong with that. There's also the possibility that he was waiting on a signal from you, to let him know that it's okay to ask.

Did You Give Him Any Kind Of A Signal?

So, did you give him any reason to think that asking you out was going to get him anywhere? Unfortunately, it's not the 1950's anymore, and guys tend to need a bit more encouragement these days. Some guys will still come and ask you out, but it's important to realize that if you don't give them a reason to believe you want them to, then they might actually be scared off. It's frustrating, I know, but it's also a reality of the dating game today. You don't have to send him an invitation, but when he says something that may express interest, such as, 'maybe we should stay in touch on social media'. You could also say, 'sure, I'll DM you my number later on, and we can get in touch that way'. This let's him know that you are interested in hearing from him. Now, you just have to wait the standard 3 - 5 days to hear from him. He's got to play it cool, after all. If you do this however, and you still don't hear from him, then it's safe to assume he's not interested. It's a sad truth, but if you've put a signal out there, and he hasn't picked up on it, then he's probably not going to bother.

He's Hung Up On Someone Else

Yes, this sucks, but is he recently divorced, or out of a long-term relationship? If he is, then you should probably run - not walk away from the situation. This is definitely a reason why he may not be asking you out and if it is, then you do not want to get caught up in being someone's rebound, or back-up plan. A guy who is hung up on someone else is completely unavailable, and he is not going to ask you out. If he does under those circumstances, then you should probably be aware that he's looking for someone to fill a void, and unless you're okay with a short-term situation that's not likely to become something serious, you should walk away. If you know that he's hung up on someone else, and he's not asking you out, then it's a good idea for you to just walk away, and be okay with that. We've all been there, and at least he isn't trying to drag you in the middle of a potentially stressful situation. Don't take this personally. You'll have to suck up a bit of disappointment and walk away, but if you can do that now and maybe even remain friends with him, that could leave the door open for something to happen down the road. Don't think about it any more than you have to. You're not the reason he's not asking you out, his current circumstances are.

You're Hung Up On Someone Else

Well, there's always this, too. Does he know that you've recently gotten out of a long-term relationship? When you guys talked, did you spend a lot of time talking about your ex? If any of this is the case, then that's a very good reason for why he might not be asking you out. No one wants to put themselves in a situation where they're having to battle with an ex, on any level, for your attention. So, if you're newly single, or still not over your past situation, chances are that he's not going to bother asking you out. He will likely want to steer clear of getting involved. It's a good idea to be honest with yourself about this too, because if you're not ready to be asked out, there are probably some things that you should consider dealing with in the first place, before you start worrying about why guys aren't asking you out. You definitely don't want to be someone's backup plan, and they aren't going to want to feel like they're yours, either. If you're hung up on someone else, he isn't going to ask you out.

He Isn't Available

This is a pretty obvious reason why a guy might not ask you out. If he's with someone else and he doesn't ask you out, this is actually a very good thing. If he's willing to ask you out while he's still committed elsewhere, that should be a huge red flag. If he'll do that to someone else, you can bet that he'll do the same thing to you. The last thing you'll want to worry about in the back of your mind whenever your guy goes out, is whether or not he's asking out other women. If he isn't available, and he doesn't ask you out, there's nothing wrong with that at all. Take it as a sign of integrity on his part, and hope that you might cross paths again at some point in time. If you had a good conversation and there seemed to be a spark, then there probably was. This can happen between a lot of different people, but someone who can show restraint and remain faithful is worth showing some patience and understanding for. Again, this has nothing to do with you, this is about him being unavailable.

You're Intimidating To Him

How sick are you of hearing this? Me, too. Guys can be easily intimidated by women that they're attracted to, though. Confidence is a great thing to have, and you should never feel that you have to downplay that. There's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with him, or giving him a chance to talk with you, though. You can maintain your confidence, but try and make yourself seem a little bit more open and approachable. Make eye-contact and smile. Go over and say hello. Strike up a conversation about whatever's going on where you are. Even if it seems that he's not interested after all, that's okay. At least you've opened the door to be approached, and at the very least, you've had a good chat with someone. The entire game of approaching people can be intimidating for everyone, so it's a good idea to try and remember that.

You're Friends

Oh, dear. You're friends, and you've been running into each other over the years, sharing good times, good chats, and lots in common. You've always expected that there could be something more between the two of you, but he's never asked you out. This might seem frustrating, but it's actually a good thing. If a guy really likes you and values your friendship, why would he want to ruin that? What if he did approach you and things went wrong? Even if he really likes you, he's probably not going to ask because taking the chance of losing everything you already have together isn't something he wants to do. It can be a bit of a bummer, but do you really want to risk the friendship, either? Good friends are hard to come by, and when you've been friends with a guy for a long time, that shows he values you. If this is why he isn't asking you out, that's not a bad thing.

You're With Someone Else

If you're with someone and you're wanting someone else to ask you out, you should really consider getting out of your current relationship, for starters. If a guy knows you're with someone else, or he even thinks that you are, even if he really likes you, he's probably not going to ask you out. Again, this is not a bad thing. It shows that he has respect, and that he's not looking to mess around in someone's personal life. If you're actually single though, and he's only assuming you're taken, or he's been given false information, then you should find a way to let him know that you're available. You can do that by dropping subtle hints into a conversation. If you get on the topic of dating and relationships, you can slip in there that you are single so that he will know. Guys won't generally approach a girl if they think she's taken, so it's probably a good idea to make sure he know's you're available, if that's the case, so he knows it's safe to ask.

You Seem Too Available

As much as a guy might want you, if he thinks you're too easy, he's probably not going to ask you out. It seems like a lot of hoops to jump through at times. If you're too hard to get, they won't ask you out. If you're too easy, they won't ask you out. In all honesty though, no guy really wants to ask out a girl who comes across as being easy. How many other guys have been able to get with her easily? Making yourself too available never comes across as a good thing. Keep a level of mystery about yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't be friendly or engaging, but you don't have to go up to a guy and slobber all over him if you want him to ask you out. Men may not want to chase after someone who seems impossible to get, but they also want to feel like they need to make some sort of an effort to get you.

You Can Always Ask Him Out

There are no rules to this dating game anymore. If you're really into him and you feel that there's a good vibe there, he likely feels the same way. There is a possibility that he's hoping the same thing you are - that you'll ask him out! Why not go for it? The worst he can say is no, and if he says yes, you'll wonder what you were so worried about in the first place. There's nothing wrong with taking control of the situation and asking a guy out, just make sure that you don't come across to strongly. You don't want to scare him off. At the same time though, there's nothing wrong with going for it!

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