It's pretty easy to have sex. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, after
all! And it's also not that difficult to have average sex. But having GREAT SEX can
sometimes elude us. Great sex is something that we actually need to practice a bit.
Practice makes perfect, after all!
So what really separates average sex from great sex? There are a handful of factors to consider when it comes to great sex. They are passion, confidence, comfort, caring, foreplay, variety, communication, and knowing your partner. Phew, quite the list! And maybe some things you haven't ever thought about before. But you will now, in the name of great sex!
Now, you don't need ALL of these things at once to go from average sex to great sex; even just a few can help make your sex life better. At the very least you want to be aware of them. But if you are able to get all of these things in play you and your partner are in for some of the best sex of your lives. This list well really help to elevate your sex from average sex to great sex - maybe even SUPER GREAT sex!
One of the easiest ways to make your sex life better is by injecting a little lust and
passion into it. However LUST and PASSION can sometimes be the most elusive things in a
sexual relationship. The act of having sex does not automatically equal passion or lust,
One of the best ways to add a little passion or lust into your sex is to make sure you're super attracted to your partner. We don't just mean on the surface physical attraction, but that helps of course! We mean any sort of attraction, from physical to mental to emotional. When you are incredibly attracted to your partner, it makes sex extra hot and heavy.
Embracing all of the craziness and weirdness of sex can also help increase lust and passion. Instead of getting caught in moves or positions, just focus on the feelings. Let them overwhelm you and wash over you. While you are in the moment try not to think about anything else aside from you and your lover.
New lovers can also bring on a feeling of lust or passion. But likewise really knowing your partner can increase passion and lust. Basically what we're saying is that there isn't any one thing that works for everyone. You'll have to figure out what your specific triggers are for sex and passion! But trust us, if you increase your passion and lust, you'll definitely go from average sex to great sex.
Confidence generally helps out in all aspects of life and it can make your sex life
better too! It can be hard to get into it if you're feeling nervous or anxious.
Confidence can help you to relax and really enjoy yourself. Confidence also makes appear
super attractive. Trust just, there is nothing SEXIER than someone who feels confident!
Sex is always great when both partners are feeling confident.
And we don't mean having all of the sex answers or knowing everything. That would be hard to do! We just mean believing in yourself and totally owning what you are doing. The most confident people aren't necessarily the best but their confidence gives them that special something that is way better than being the best.
It's easy to gain confidence in the bedroom! All it takes is some practice and being kind to ourselves. The practice means that you'll get better at the positions and moves you are trying, which naturally builds confidence. And being kind to yourself just means don't judge yourself too harshly! Confidence also means not being afraid to "fail." After all, there's really no failing in sex. If a position feels weird, just try another! That's what confidence is all about.
Like confidence, comfort can also make sense so much better. When we are feeling comfortable, generally we are also way more relaxed. And when we are relaxed, we are more willing to explore and be open to new ideas. Comfort is so important when it comes to great sex! When you aren't feeling comfortable, your sex is definitely only going to be average.
Comfort can come from many things. Simply being comfortable in your own skin can lead to comfort in sex. Knowing your partner a little bit can lead to more comfort in between the sheets. For example, when you are having sex with someone for the first time, it can feel a little more nerve-wracking! Practice can also lead to more comfort! As you can see, comfort and confidence really go hand in hand. It's hard to have one without the other. But comfort is also a little different than confidence. Confidence is almost a state of mind while comfort is a feeling.
And we'll also say that comfort does not necessarily mean safe or boring in a bad way. On the contrary! Comfort can mean that you feel safe enough to EXPERIMENT or TRY NEW THINGS. Comfort can also mean that you're not feeling judgemental or uptight about sex.
A selfish lover is never a great lover. At best, a selfish lover will be "average" at sex, but often they are voted as way less than average. Studies always show that when people are asked about their sexual partners, they rate selfishness as one of the least desirable qualities. This goes for one night stands and long term relationships too!
Yes, we know that often sex is about wanting to get off. But we should also care about the other person getting off too. After all, sex involves two people so we should want to make sure that both ourselves and our partner are having a great time. Caring about our partner makes sex super awesome!
Ways that we can care about our partner is thinking about their pleasure and their needs. It means listening to them. And the great thing is that caring about our partner's pleasure can often bring our own pleasure. We love how caring feels! And don't think that if you both are caring about each other's pleasure that it cancels out the pleasure. Rather, it tends to intensify it! All of that caring and sharing of pleasure only means great things in bed.
Sex is really awesome but we can't forget about foreplay! Making sure to invest in lots of FOREPLAY is what can make average sex or okay sex super awesome sex. And we all want super awesome sex, right?
Often we can get so excited about going at it that we forget about foreplay. Foreplay can help to increase pleasure. It also draws out the entire experience, which can intensify feelings and generally make for a much better time. Foreplay is also a great way to experience different sensations that you might not otherwise feel during actual sex. Foreplay is about taking things a little slow and exploring.
To take your average sex to the next level, definitely invest in some foreplay. Try teasing your partner with your tongue or fingers. You could also use toys, like a whip or a feather! Games can also make for great foreplay as well. Basically you want to use foreplay as a way to get you both so hot and heavy that you are practically begging for sex. Trust us, foreplay can make sex so much more enjoyable!
One of the easiest ways to take your average sex to great sex is by trying out new things. A new position can spice things up in the bedroom. Mostly it's about getting out of your comfort zone, which is always a little bit exciting and exhilarating. While we did say above that being comfortable can make sex great, trying new things can also help to make sex great. Remember, it's about LISTENING to what you and your partner's bodies wants in the moment.
Experimenting in the bedroom is a surefire way to exciting sex. If you and your partner have been using the same positions for a while, make sure to start out slow with trying out new things. You don't want to overwhelm yourself or stress yourself out from too much new! It's all about the baby steps. That will keep it fun and easy going. Make sure to talk with your partner about what's working and what's not. And remember to use some of that confidence we mentioned earlier too! New things may feel a little uncomfortable at first but once you get over that hump, you and your partner will be loving all of the new sex positions.
You can't have great sex without communication. This is key in both one night stands and long term relationships. All sex is improved with better communication! In the movies and in porn, people seem to navigate positions and sex without every speaking. This is impossible! Great sex needs talking and communicating. It needs both partners to tell the other what they are doing. You want to know not only what is feeling good, but what is feeling not so good as well!
It can be difficult sometimes to communicate during sex. Sometimes we are afraid of saying the wrong thing or making it seem "unsexy." Sometimes we don't want to tell someone that something doesn't feel good. But don't worry! There is nothing more sexy than two lovers talking to each other! Even if you are saying "nope, don't liek that." How else will both of you know what each other really enjoy in bed, right?
Start off small by just saying a few things here or there. Even if it's just one word to start off. Pretty soon you'll be moving on to full sentences! And remember that both positive and negative communication is important.
We all love a great one night stand. It can be exhilarating to have sex with someone who is new, someone that you don't know! However, really knowing your partner and their body can make sex super duper great. In fact, it can take sex from being okay to be incredible!
Really knowing your partner means that sex is more relaxed and fun. It also means that you'll be both more comfortable and confident. In fact, really knowing your partner takes into account all of the points we raised above about what makes sex that much better!
Another great thing about knowing your partner really well is how much better you are at communicating. We have said that communication is important, however when you are familiar with your partner and their needs and wants, it is almost like you can communicate without speaking. However, we still encourage speaking too!
And there you have it. If you put some thought into applying the eight points listed above to your sex life, you'll be on the road to great sex in no time. Now, it may not be possible to apply all of them, but that's okay! In fact, you don't even need to apply all of them. Considering two or even one of the points above has the potential to dramatically improve your sex life. And taking it slow will mean it's not so overwhelming and that's important to consider too.
There are a lot of different factors that go into what makes sex average to great. For some people they are content with having just "okay" sex. But we believe that sex can always be better and even great! And as you've seen from the list above, it really doesn't take a lot. Now go forth and take your sex life from average to great!