How to Keep Things Exciting in a Long-term Relationship


To keep things exciting in a long-term relationship, you need to be comfortable enough to try new things. It's important to be confident when telling your partner what you need. To make a relationship last and keep things from going stale, it's important to talk to each other and explore new things as a couple. This also includes sexually and actually learning new things. Taking a class together or just taking off for the weekend is a great idea. If you can't spare the time to jet off, a staycation in the city is a change of scenery for you and your partner.

In the early days of dating, most of us don't ask for a lot and by the time we're in a long-term relationship, we often forget about what they wanted in the first place. Another problem is that people are more affectionate during the "honeymoon phase" of relationships (the first six months) because that's when you are all caught up with this person but that affection and intimacy slowly go away the longer that you're together. When you're in the first few months of a relationship, you can't keep your hands off each other and everything feels new and exciting. In the beginning, you're also more cautious and aware that the relationship can end and you work hard to prevent that.

But the longer you date, the more that those desires cool down and get replaced by other things. Life gets in the way. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it makes the relationship lazy. If you want to keep things exciting in long-term relationships you need to capture the feeling of the "honeymoon phase" to remind your partner that you still love them and that you're still attracted to them. To do this, you need to add more spontaneity to your replacement. Relationships get boring when you do the same thing over and over again. A lot of long-term relationships end because people become bored and complacent and they no longer try to make their partner happy. They just take for granted that they are always there. If you want to keep things exciting in a long-term relationship you have to be brave enough to ask for what you want, that's the only way that things are going to get better.

Bring Back Date Nights

In long-term relationships, people often let other things take priority over their relationship. It happens slowly and without either partner meaning to and that's what makes people fall out of love or get bored. Often times, your nights end up with the two of you sitting on the couch, not talking and not looking up from your phones. You can go the whole night without even talking to each other. There's being comfortable and then there's being boring. So what can you do? The first thing you should do is going on a date. Having weekly date nights or just spontaneous date nights are a great way to get you out of a relationship rut. Plan some time when you can get dressed up or just pick an exciting activity to do. Flirt, drink, laugh and just have a good time together. You need to work hard to keep a relationship going and one of the ways to do that is to rekindle that flirty, exciting and nervous feeling that you had when you first started dating. Remembering that feeling is what is going to make your relationship and help you fall in love with your partner again.


Sometimes just going out for dinner instead of eating in is an easy date idea, but you should try to shake it up a bit and do new things together too. The more creative you are with your date ideas, the better results you'll get. You also want to choose a date that is personal to the two of you. Not just something generic. The best dating tips recommend recapturing the feeling of dating again in a long-term relationship. When you've been with your partner for so long, it's hard to keep that feeling with other responsibilities taking up a lot of your attention. It's difficult to keep that energy up so try incorporating it in small doses. One date night a week is a good place to start to capture your feelings again. People grow and change, but sometimes going back to that moment when you first met and keeping that feeling with you can help long-term relationships grow and last longer too. Either way, dates are very important if you want to make sure that your relationship will stand the test of time.

Have a Sense of Adventure


The problem with long-term relationships is that they fall into patterns and routines where you do the same thing day in and day out until it seems boring. Once the relationship is boring, you start thinking that your partner is boring and wonder if there's someone else out there. This is a dangerous trap to fall into. Boredom is a libido and relationship killer. The number one dating tip for keeping a relationship from going stale is to incorporate some adventure in by trying out new things. In some cases, this just means finding a new restaurant other than your regular haunt for date night but it can also mean taking an exotic trip together. When you experience something together and make those memories, it brings you closer as a couple and becomes a story that you can share throughout your lives. Planning a trip together that takes you out of your comfort zone is a great way to make your relationship exciting again and rekindle a sense of discovery and excitement. A change of scenery can make a big difference in making a long-term relationship more exciting.

Don't forget the physical side of things either. Your sex life is important and you should try to keep things in the bedroom from being boring. Doing the same thing over and over again is going to get boring no matter who you're with and it's important to switch things up once in a while to keep your partner happy. This includes new positions to try or maybe even a sex toy. Going to a sex shop can even be a fun date idea if you're feeling adventurous. Don't underestimate the element of surprise either. It's a great way to add some excitement. The most important thing to remember when you're in a long-term relationship is that sometimes you need to switch things up to keep the spark alive.

The easiest way to do this is with sex games and competitions. These games bring you out of your comfort zone and add some stimulation to your relationship. For many couples, strip poker is a popular game to play, but there's also dirty dice where each partner rolls to see what naughty activity they have to do. Make sex fun and exciting again by making each other write down five sexual fantasies or sexual acts and then putting it in a jar. Every night/week, draw one of the pieces of paper from the jar to give it a try. It's a good way to switch things up. If you feel like you've done everything, there's another game that you can try which involves using two jars and some paper. On one paper, write down five fantasies and on the other, write down five sexual positions or sexual acts. Cut them out so they're on separate pieces of paper and then put the sexual fantasies in one jar and the other strips in the other. When you're planning on having sex, pull one paper from one jar and one from the other. The challenge is to enact that fantasy and include the position or act from the other jar somewhere in it. It's like sexy improv and makes you use your creativity and stamina.

Say Yes

To keep a long-term relationship from being stale, take the word no out of your vocabulary. This doesn't mean that if something generally upsets you or is something that's a deal breaker that you don't have the power to say no but that you should try to say yes to things. Often people find themselves being stubborn or resistant especially in long-term dating where people stop trying. You get used to doing things a certain way and it becomes comforting routine and anything that threatens that comfort bothers you. But the routine that makes everything comfortable is also the thing that is making your relationship boring. You need to shock yourself out of it by doing new things and adding some excitement back into your life.

To do this, start saying yes to things. If your partner wants to go to the bar with some friends and invites you along, say yes even if you'd rather just sit at home in your pajamas. Socializing together with other couples or with each other's friends is great especially since you can share stories that your partner already knows with a new group of people. Being with your partner all the time makes it easier to fall into a routine that sucks the life out of your relationship and going out with your friends and getting out of the house can add some excitement back into it. Of course, you can yes to other date ideas, activities or even trying out a new kind of food that you're not sure if you're going to like. You'll never know until you try. Saying yes is a great way to find new things to enjoy and if you don't end up liking it, it's a great story to tell your friends. If your partner wants to see a movie that you have no interest in seeing, go see it anyway without complaining. It will make them happy to see you making an effort. They will notice you being more open and caring about what they feel and they will start reciprocating. If you feel that you need some downtime, that's okay too but too much downtime is boring and makes your relationship boring by association.

Show Some Appreciation

In long-term relationships, people get complacent. They take advantage of the fact that their partner is going to be there with them and so they don't make as much of an effort to keep them happy and show them how much they appreciate them. This is a serious problem and leads to fights and breakups. Nobody wants to feel like their partner doesn't care enough to make an effort so it's important to reassure your partner that you do care by showing them your appreciation. One way that you can do this is by leaving love notes around the house or in their bag. It can be a cute phrase, a compliment, or just a simple I love you. You can even spice it up by adding a bit of a naughty edge to it by saying "I love the way your butt looks today" or "you're so beautiful. I can't wait to see you at home later."

If you don't think that you're very skilled at writing, you can always just tell them how much you love and care for them face to face through body contact. Simple things like holding hands, hugging their waist, and forehead kisses are all expressions of love and affection that most couples in long-term relationships don't do. It's not always about saying "I love you," but showing it in ways that your partner will recognize and appreciate. This includes making their day easier by helping them with domestic things or just calling them to see how their day is going. Of course, most modern dating guides will recommend using technology to talk to your partner and send them sexy notes but something more personal would work better as a way to show them how you feel. A relationship only lasts when both people are willing to work on it.

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How to Keep Things Exciting in A Long-Term Relationship

Looking to spice up your relationship? Xpress.com has the best relationship advice and dating tips to keep things from getting stale in a long-term relationship.

How to Keep Things Exciting in A Long-Term Relationship