Figuring out if you should ask your partner to delete photos of their ex on Facebook depends on a lot of different things. First, figuring out what the relationship was like and how important it was to them. If they're keeping photos of their ex, it's probably because they were a big part of their lives and they want to remember that period and the growth they went through. It could even be that they're just forgetful and forgot to get rid of them. If they have photos of their ex and no photos or few photos of you, that's not a good sign and it tells people that their ex still matters to them. But it also depends on their motivation behind keeping the photos and it's important to talk to them and explain why you're uncomfortable with the photos being online for everyone to see.
To put it simply, asking your partner to delete photos of their ex on Facebook requires you to look at your relationship and where you want it to go. If you're just casually dating but are hoping for more, then asking them to delete the photos can help your relationship move forward without extra baggage. If their ex is still their friend, then asking them to delete the photos might make you look jealous or insecure and not a good fit for them. You should also know what type of relationship they had with their ex. Were they friends before they dated, or was it someone that they met while online dating? You should also figure out how long they were together for. If the relationship was just hooking up for a few months, then asking them to delete their photos shouldn't be a big deal, but if they dated for three years, then it's going to be harder to get rid of them. If you want the photos off of Facebook, there are some essential questions that you should ask yourself.
First, you need to ask yourself if you trust your partner. There's a reason why these photos are making you uncomfortable and it has to do with trusting your partner and that they are who they say they are. Trust means many different things. It means trusting them to tell you the truth about their relationship with their ex and trusting them with your feelings. Mostly, it means trusting them not to cheat on you with their ex. That's a lot of pressure for one person to deal with. Feelings of jealousy for a partner's ex are normal but when these feelings start taking over and you find yourself stalking your partner's Facebook to see what's going on, that's getting into dangerous territory and shows that you don't actually trust them.
The only thing that would make it hard to trust your partner is if they've cheated before in the past. If not, unless your partner is doing something to deliberately to make you jealous it's your own insecurity that's making it hard for you to trust them. These feelings are your own and you can't always count on your partner to make you feel better. Even if they delete the photos, there's no guarantee that your fears are going to go away. There's probably a bigger issue that you're dealing with and you should talk to your partner about it so that they can help reassure you that nothing is going on. If you really feel like deleting the photos would make you feel better, then you can ask your partner to delete them to give you some peace of mind.
Is your partner still friends with their ex? Instead of forcing them to delete all the photos, just ask them to delete the photos where they're alone with their ex but leave photos when they're in a group. This helps you see that they're just friends and no longer in a relationship. In some cases, being friends with an ex does make things a little awkward and it's not something that happens often. Most people who are friends with their ex are unable to let go of the relationship. Maybe there are some unresolved issues or feelings and that friendship and history are always going to be at the back of your mind. You'll never be comfortable with the relationship if you have this hanging over your head.
To help you deal with these feelings, ask your partner to limit contact with their ex or say that you prefer when the three of you hang out together rather than alone. If you say it calmly and explain why you feel this way, your partner is going to understand your concern and work to make sure that you know that your relationship is a priority for them.
Sometimes people reconnect with their ex after years of not talking. There's always a reason about why they've decided to reconnect with their ex and you need to figure out what it is. This is getting into dangerous territory and it's better to prevent it from happening so that things don't escalate. If they're still talking to their ex, ask them to erase their ex's photos from Facebook. If your partner is the one who reached out, that's a bad sign. It usually means that they're still thinking about their ex and were brave enough to reach out even after the breakup. Maybe they're unhappy with your relationship or maybe there's something else going on but you need to figure out what it is and deal with it or you're going to end up in a bad situation.
If their ex is the one who reached out, how did they respond? Did they send back a really long paragraph or ask questions to keep the conversation going, or is it just one-word answers? If they get unwanted messages from their ex, deleting the photos on Facebook can help get rid of them. Deleting photos of them off of Facebook shows that your partner no longer cares about the other person and don't want a reminder of that part of their lives. If they're still talking to their ex, then deleting the photos will make you feel better and more secure about your place in their life.
When was the breakup? If they just broke up recently, you can't always expect them to delete the photos right away. Some people forget that the photos are on there or need time to deal with those feelings first. This isn't usually a problem unless they still have the text messages from their ex saved on their phone. Moving on takes time and you should be patient with your partner. If it takes longer than a month for them to delete the photos, then you can bring it up but until then, just try to ignore them. Once they delete the photos, then you know that your relationship is moving forward. If you see that they're having trouble letting go, talking to them about it can be the right motivation to actually to help them move on emotionally and physically from their ex.
If they broke up years ago, but the photos are still there, this person is obviously still important to them. This could be an old feeling and now they just want to keep the memories to remind them of what happened. If this is the case, just ask why the photos are still on there. Don't accuse them of anything because that's going to make them defensive and feel like they're being attacked by you. Instead, say that you noticed that their ex's photos were still there and were wondering if there was a reason why.
Are you able to count on one hand or two hands how many photos of their ex they have on Facebook? One or two photos of an ex isn't a big deal. Everyone's got some photos that they've either forgotten to delete or they've kept because of vanity. This is especially true if the photos are group shots or for a specific special occasion. Again, if it's only one or two photos, then it's usually because that photo is connected to a certain memory or they just haven't cleaned up their Facebook account lately. That's not something that you should worry about. It's when there are a lot of photos or even a whole album dedicated to their ex that you should consider asking them to delete the photos from social media. Having a lot of photos of their ex shows that they just couldn't bring themselves to delete them which could mean that they have unresolved feelings about their them. You should talk to them about it to make sure they know that your relationship is the present and they shouldn't get trapped in the past.
Is the reason that you want them to delete their photos to make you feel better or to help them move on and make your relationship stronger? Examining your motivations for asking them to delete their photos can go a long way to help you figure out if you should ask them or not. If your motivation is selfish and just to make you feel less secure, then it's going to look bad on you if you ask them to delete the photos. Especially if you've shown before that you're jealous of their ex. Obviously, you want them to take your feelings into account, but you also don't want to force them into doing something that is only going to benefit you. That's not fair and this kind of request can backfire quickly.
But if your motivation for asking them to delete the photos is to make them let go of the past and move forward, then you can ask them to delete the photos. This includes if you notice that these feelings are making them unhappy or conflicted. Asking them to delete them could help them let go of these feelings. The photos of their ex might be holding your partner back and preventing them from moving forward in your relationship. The only way that your relationship will work is if the two of you have a blank slate without the baggage of exes. While it's impossible to be free from relationship baggage, you shouldn't let it rule your life. They can't find a new relationship is they're still hung up on the old one. If your motivation is genuine, then you can ask them to delete the photos.
Are the photos actually affecting your relationship? Are people still constantly commenting or talking about your partner and their ex on Facebook? Are there comments from friends and people on your social media that talk about how much cuter your partner and their ex were? Then you should ask them to delete the photos. These photos are limiting your relationship with your partner and they're probably going to make you feel insecure. Negative comments on the photos are especially are going to affect your relationship. It might be something that you argue about or you might constantly compare yourself to their ex and start to doubt the relationship. Asking them to delete the photos can help get rid of a lot of these problems.
If it's not going to affect your relationship because it's in the past, then don't worry about it. Asking your partner to delete those photos are just going to draw more attention to the relationship and make it seem like it matters more than it does. This is going to make your relationship look like it's not going to last. You need to remember that the past is still the past and that in the end, exes don't matter.