Love bombing happens to a lot more people than you might think. Even the strongest person you know is capable of being love bombed. At the end of the day, most people want to believe in love, so that makes anyone a potential target for a love bomber. So, what exactly is love bombing? There are certain types of people who generally go this route, and target other certain types of people. There are a lot of things to think about and consider when deciding if you're being love bombed, and what to do about it, but we've got the info to help you stick to your guns and move forward at, Xpress so keep reading to find out how you can recognize it, stop it in its tracks, and move forward from it afterward. We've got you covered.
So, what exactly is love bombing? If it looks like a love bomb, sounds like a love bomb, and feels like a love bomb, then it probably is one. If you're talking to someone who seems too good to be true, chances are that you're being love bombed. If they're constantly showering you with adoring compliments and telling you how wonderful you are, making you feel like they've never met anyone like you before, and trying to encourage you to move quickly forward into a relationship with them, then they are love bombing you. No one who's looking to get into anything healthy is going to need to be in that kind of a rush, so don't be afraid to put the brakes on. It's a completely overwhelming feeling when you're being love bombed by someone, so it can be hard to find the brakes while you're in the midst of your whirlwind romance, but you need to. Find those brakes, and hit them hard!
If someone is really into you, they are going to understand completely, and they will want to know that you are sure about wanting to move forward into a healthy relationship. The love bomber, however, will continue trying to sweep you off your feet, and push things forward, intoxicating you with their overwhelming displays of affection and compliments. If it's real, it can wait. Don't let yourself get carried away. That's what the love bomber wants, and there are certain types of people who tend to display this behavior.
Not surprisingly, narcissists and sociopaths are most likely to use this technique.
People who are ego driven and crave constant validation thrive the most on the responses
they receive from the ones they love bomb. It makes a lot of sense that these would be
the most common people to display this behavior. They love the attention and the return
of the compliments that they receive from you, when you start to reciprocate. It's
seriously disturbing behavior to be sure, but unfortunately it's also a technique that
is on the rise.
If you suspect that the person you're seeing is love bombing you, it's a good idea to take a step back and observe them more closely. Sure, some people are genuine, but when someone is coming on that strong so quickly, there's a good chance that you're being targeted by a love bomber and it's important to recognize this. Love bombers tend to target certain people, so take a look at the stage you're at in your own life. It may help you to understand why you've been targeted by this person.
If you're at a stage in your life where you're feeling unsure, or you're in limbo, or you're displaying vulnerability, this is when the the love bomber will generally tend to strike. These people are taking a look at you and paying close attention to your weakness and vulnerabilities so that they can prey on them. These people seem to be the answer to everything you've been looking for when they come around. They can make you feel as though they're exactly what you've been looking for. They'll tell you everything that you want to hear, and because they've been paying close attention to your vulnerabilities, they will be targeting those areas where you feel the weakest, to make it seem like they are filling a void of some kind.
Start by acknowledging the fact that if something seems too good to be true, then it probably is. This is an overwhelming experience, for sure, but somewhere in the midst of this whirlwind experience, you're sure to have at least a couple of gut feelings that are not good. It's easy to dismiss these feelings, because the love bombing feels so good, but it's really important to protect yourself. If you see these signs, please pay attention to them. You're not imagining things. Generally speaking, if you think you're being love bombed, then you probably are. One of the best things you can do for yourself at this point, is to take a step back, and try to see the big picture. You need to think about things.
This should help you to put things into perspective. Being love bombed can be so intoxicating and overwhelming, that it can literally send you for a mental loop. Now that you've taken some time to think about things, they're probably starting to make a lot of sense to you, and this can be incredibly overwhelming as well. It can be a huge kick in the gut, once you realize that you've been taken on such a crazy ride. Especially if you didn't see it coming. Don't blame yourself, though! We all want to believe that we've met our ultimate match and that we've found the perfect person for us. The truth is though, that is something is that overwhelming and seems too good to be true, then it probably is. Don't worry about beating yourself up over how you ended up in this situation in the first place. It happens to the best and brightest of people every day, and you didn't do anything wrong by giving someone a chance and choosing to believe in them. The important thing to do now is to take the time you need to understand what's happened, wrap your head around it, accept it, and decide what the best way to move forward is going to be. This may not be easy to do at first, but don't worry. It will become easier with time. You need to decide what to do, though.
This is not going to be the easiest thing you'll ever do. Those strong feelings that you've built up with this person are not going to disappear overnight, and it's very difficult to make a decision to move in a different direction when you're still having such strong feelings for someone. That's totally understandable, so you're going to have to let yourself go through the motions, as you think things through and make your decision. If you're being honest with yourself, you're sure to see that the best thing you can possibly do is to get away from this person and move forward with your life. It's very hard to make that decision a reality when there's still some hope inside of you that this person was sincere, and that they cared about you. How can anyone say all of those things if they really didn't mean them, right? It's a terrible feeling to have to accept that none of the words this person said to you were true, and that you really have been played to this extent. You need to try and set your emotions aside here though, and let logic prevail. Don't expose yourself to anymore of this behavior. Moving forward won't be the easiest thing you'll ever do, but when you look back, you will be so glad that you did!
The important thing here, is going to be that you make a solid decision and that you stick with it. This is not going to be the easiest decision you will ever make, but it is easily going to be one of the best decisions. It will be hard to move forward at first, but you can do it. You've got this. It's really hard to receive such an emotional speedball of love and adoration, only to have it ripped from you. The first thing you'll want to do is try and get it back. It will cross your mind for a long time and you'll spend a lot of time questioning yourself, as you go through the motions of putting this behind you. Why did this happen? What did you do wrong? You'll likely spend a lot of time going over and over in your mind, all of the things that you may have done wrong to provoke this behavior. What did you do to make them change their mind? The answer is: nothing. You didn't do anything to change their mind. They were never going to show up and be this amazing person that they promoted themselves to be, so don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. It's unnecessary. When your mind starts going down that road, remind yourself that this isn't your fault. You got played by a professional, and you can't hold yourself responsible for their behavior. You need to let them go.
The importance of breaking all connections with this person cannot be stated strongly enough. It may sound a bit harsh, but it is absolutely necessary. Don't leave any doors open for this person to snake their way back in. They are incapable of giving you what you need and deserve, and if you do end up giving them another chance, they will only repeat the same pattern of behavior. It's not worth taking one step forward, only to end up having to take 10 steps back. You're better than that. It's going to be very difficult at first, but you need to cut them off. No exceptions. Block them from being able to contact you, if that's what it takes, but make sure that you do it. Do not leave any room for them to make their way back into your life.
The love bomber will likely continue trying to suck you back in again, or they will show up at a later time down the road, to see if they can try you out again. You need to stick to your guns. The odds of a person like this ever changing their behavior are slim to none and it's not worth having to find that out the hard way. Do not give them an inch. If they manage to get word to you, ignore them. There is no need for there to be continued contact at this point. It will lead to nothing good. Put yourself first, and leave the love bomber behind.
You are going to go through some very hard times, and there are going to be some days that are much easier than others, but you will absolutely get past this. You've taken all of the right steps up to this point, so you've laid a great foundation for yourself to successfully get get over this, and you will. It's not going to be any easy road though. Your emotions have been played with and you've been loved bombed and devalued, both in a very short period of time. This isn't easy for anyone to deal with and you're likely to go through a wide range of emotions each day for the next little while. That's okay though. Go through what you need to, and remember that not long from now, you will look back on this time, and be grateful that you walked away from the love bomber. Don't look back!