Why Emotional Cheating is Way Worse Than Physical Cheating


Emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating because it threatens the emotional side of a relationship. Cheating is a complete betrayal of our trust and it's hard to make a relationship work after infidelity. Sometimes it can help wake you up to a problem in the relationship. Either there's no more physical chemistry or there's another underlying issue that is making you search outside the relationship for fulfillment. Often, this kind of fulfillment is purely physical leading to physical cheating. Physical cheating is having sex with someone who is not your partner. It can include a one-night stand or even a long-term affair. It involves the same thing that emotional cheating does which is deception and dishonesty from your main partner. But the worst thing that someone can do in a relationship is emotionally cheating on their partner.

Emotional cheating is described as a relationship that interrupts or affects the level of intimacy with your partner by creating an emotional distance and changes the overall dynamic between partners. In other words, emotional cheating is when your partner begins to have feelings for someone else while dating you. Often, emotional cheating isn't considered to be cheating by the person because there's no actual sex. In dating, emotional cheating involves giving everything to your affair that you would normally do with your partner. Sharing your dreams, fears, and hopes with the person that you're having an affair with creates an emotional distance between you and your partner. This is why emotional cheating is considered to be one of the worst things that you can do in a relationship.

Physical cheating is considered to be a one-off and most relationships that are dealing with this are able to come to some sort of agreement. It's based on a physical need rather than an emotional one, which is easy enough to deal with. Most people are okay as long as their partner doesn't fall in love with someone else. When you trust someone completely you give them your heart and when someone is emotionally cheating it means that they have given that part of themselves to someone else. Often people believe that emotional cheating is innocent because they are not actually having sex with another person, but it's even worse because it creates an emotional distance and dishonesty in your relationship. The strain will eventually cause the end of your relationship and your partner will lose trust in you. Ultimately, the reason that emotional cheating is so terrible is that it looks innocent until it's way too late.

It Creates Emotional Distance

The problem with emotional cheating is that it affects the intimacy and trust in a relationship. In traditional dating, emotional cheating is when you share intimate feelings and thoughts with a person other than your partner. It's not just flirting with another person, but also using them as an emotional sounding board. They are the person that you tell if you're feeling bad, mad, or unhappy with your current relationship. It feels like you're just venting, but when you talk badly about your partner to someone else what you're doing is breaking the trust between you and talking behind their back. A lot of expert dating advice recommends keeping your problems with your partner to yourself and the reason for that is the only person that can actually fix problems in your relationship is the two of you. Going to another person isn't going to help your relationship. If you have a problem with something they did or are feeling critical and you're not willing to talk to your partner about it, then that's a problem.


In this situation, you begin turning to someone else for your emotional needs and support. This takes that relationship and intimacy away from you and your partner. Love comes from trust and trust comes from knowing who your partner is at their core. When you start to notice that your partner is no longer talking to you then that creates a distance in your relationship. It affects the way that you speak to each other and what you talk about when you're alone. Think about when your friends talk behind your back, complaining about something you did or being annoyed at you, it probably doesn't feel that great to have someone you trust betray you like that. That's the way that your partner is going to feel. In turn, this will also affect the physical closeness between you until you become two strangers occupying the same space instead of partners. That's the consequence of emotional cheating.

No Trust in the Relationship


Relationships are built on trust. Obviously, you won't want to date someone who you don't trust. People only fall in love when they trust their partner to take care of their heart and treat them kindly and fairly. Your partner is someone that you respect and who respects you and emotional cheating breaks that bond. Emotional cheating works and looks a lot like physical cheating without the sex. You make plans to meet this person alone without your partner or, even without your partner knowing, or you make excuses about going to see this person or lie about who you're seeing which is exactly what happens when you're physically cheating. If you can't be honest with who you're with or tell your partner what you're doing or feel guilty, then you're emotionally cheating on them with someone else.

Any kind of cheating breaks your partner's trust. It involves lying and sneaking around with someone who is not your partner and then coming up with lies to "protect" them from the truth. People who cheat know what they're doing is wrong and part of the reason why they hide it is guilt. They tell themselves that they're protecting their partner's feelings from being hurt by the truth but really they know that they're doing something wrong and are trying to justify it to themselves. This isn't only true in a monogamous relationship but also in hookup dating or casual dating, or any relationship where you are lying to your partner about what you're doing. You can be in a long-term hookup and be emotionally cheating. Even in open relationships, it's understood that there is a main partner who is your emotional and physical support and a secondary partner who takes care of your physical needs. If you start looking to your secondary partner for emotional support without telling your main partner, then you're emotionally cheating.

It Seems Innocent

What makes emotional cheating so terrible is that it starts off innocent. To outsiders, this type of relationship looks like friendship. You meet up, have fun, hang out, and talk to each other. First, you start off complaining about work, then the last argument that you had with your partner and then you start to talk about everything that's wrong with your partner. What this does is open the conversation to your friend to interject themselves into your relationship. They might think that they're helping you by giving you advice, but what they're really doing is coming between you and your partner. A one-off comment like your partner's smelly feet is fine, but when it turns into one long rant about everything wrong with your partner that's a betrayal of the trust in your relationship. This is especially terrible when you aren't willing to talk to your partner about it first or trying to find some kind of resolution. It looks like a simple friendship but the truth is when you're emotionally cheating on your partner, you're not looking for dating advice or relationship advice which is what you would typically do with a friend. You're looking for someone better to replace your partner, you just don't realize it.

Other than the fact that emotional cheating looks a lot like friendship, it also involves a lot of flirting. Flirting is fun and lots of people flirt even they're in a relationship, but when that flirting turns into sexting or something more that's when it starts going into emotional cheating territory. With technology, it's easy to carry on this type of relationship because you're the only one with access to your phone. This means that you can have an entire relationship with someone online without your partner knowing which is dangerous. You might think it's innocent, but when you're hiding it from your partner, you're doing something wrong.

Emotional cheating is so dangerous because you're slowly replacing your partner with someone else. It feels like friendship in the beginning but slowly it begins to look more like dating. You start to get excited to see them and get angry or disappointed when plans change. A compliment from them can make you feel amazing. You anxiously wait for them to reply to your messages and are always trying to impress them. It's fine to get excited when you're seeing and talking to a friend, but when you're dressing up for them or when you care more about what they think than your partner than you're getting into dangerous territory. There's usually no physical cheating in this type of affair which is why it seems like it's no big deal, even making some people believe that it's not really cheating. This definition of cheating is very narrow and assumes that sex is the most important thing in a relationship. While sex is important, people fall in love emotionally with their partner and that emotional connection is threatened the relationship is threatened too. Sex creates another type of intimacy but it also breeds trust which is broken when you're emotionally cheating on your partner.

Emotionally Draining

For all intents and purposes, emotional cheating is like being in two relationships at the same time. You are essentially dating two people even if you don't realize it. It's hard enough to manage one person's feelings in a relationship without dropping the ball and when you add in a second person, no matter what, someone is going to be left behind. When you're emotionally cheating on someone it's physically and emotionally draining. The lying, covering up your tracks and being on your guard is very difficult for you and makes it hard for you to ever really relax. Relationships work because you trust the other person to keep you up when you need some downtime. You don't have to worry about anything because the other person has got your back. When you're emotionally cheating, it's hard to find someone that you can confide in because you're lying to both your partners. This makes it hard for you to be able to open up fully to either of them. There's never any time that you can just be with a person without worrying about being caught. In both relationships, you're hiding something. When usually you would be able to confide in your partner, the stress of keeping a secret puts a strain on your relationship and prevents you from doing it. Your partner who knows that something is wrong but doesn't know what to do about it.

It's draining because you are trying to keep two people happy without letting them know you're cheating. You don't want your main partner to know that you're emotionally cheating on them with someone else so you want to make everything seem normal. This duplicity is exhausting. Your main relationship suffers and it's going to lead to a confrontation between you. You have no energy for your partner because you've used it all up with your affair. Dates, talking and even eating dinner with them seems exhausting. You no longer confide in your partner and they stop confiding in you, everything feels one-sided and then it starts feeling like it's not worth it anymore. Slowly you stop caring about keeping up the charade and start neglecting your main relationship for your other one. You start putting all your energy and time into your affair and there's nothing left for your partner and this creates a distance between you.

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Why Emotional Cheating Is Worse Than Physical Cheating - Xpress

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Why Emotional Cheating Is Worse Than Physical Cheating - Xpress