Is Facebook Trying To Ruin Your Dating Life?


How we use social media when we're dating can be a very important consideration. When it comes to platforms such as Facebook, there are a lot of pros and cons where dating is concerned. There is a lot of information that you can get from social media, but it's not always going to be the best source for you to go to. There are also a lot if issues that can arise in relationships as a result of Facebook, and other social media platforms. So, is facebook trying to ruin your dating life? Facebook has certainly changed dating and we're doing things differently now. There are lots of positives and negatives to dating where Facebook is concerned, and there are ways that you can keep things simple in the face of some of the complications that can arise. You'll find answers at that can help you determine this, and some suggestions on how you can minimize current and future issues as well. Keep reading for more information on Facebook and dating.

How Facebook Has Changed Dating

How has Facebook changed dating? Dating has never been easy to begin with, but with the introduction of social media platforms such as Facebook, the entire dating game has entered an entirely new realm. Gone are the days of privacy, and getting to know someone over time. There is so much instant gratification when it comes to social media now, that we can find out a fairly decent amount of information about our next prospective partner, before we've officially been on a first date. With all of the information we post on Facebook, it's easy for our entire relationship to be on display for all to see. When we 'start' dating, when we 'end' the relationship. It's all there for everyone to see and even comment on.


Facebook has turned the dating game into an experience where you essentially have two lives. The one that you have one on one with your partner, and the one that's on Facebook for your entire friends list to see come through their news feed each day. So much is on display, and so much can be found out. There are now two grapevines. The one that exists in reality, and the one that exists online. Dating has been complicated enough in the past, but now it's complicated on an online level as well. There is a lot to think about when it comes to Facebook and dating, and we're going to explore much deeper in this article.

What Are We Doing Differently Now?


There are a lot of things we're doing differently now. We look to Facebook almost as a declaration of our relationship status for all to see. You might be 'official' but are you 'Facebook official'? This is the standard that we've begun to set in the dating world, and while it certainly does make a statement, it can also lead to a lot of unnecessary complications. We're publicly posting frustrations within our relationships, we're posting about a million pictures of us with our partners, we're essentially putting our private lives on display for many others to see. Even if you don't do this personally, you definitely know some people on Facebook who do. You probably see their posts come through on a daily basis. We are doing a lot of things differently in the age of social media, where dating is concerned, and we don't yet fully understand what some of the long-term issues associated with this can be.

Does It Really Matter?

So, does it really matter? Well, sure it does. When you're seeing someone new, and they decide to take a look back through your photos and see a picture of you with someone they know from 10 years ago, that can cause problems. If not for Facebook, they'd probably never even know that information. It's also unsettling when you look back through someone's history, and see a million pictures from their past relationships. It's understandable that maybe they are on good terms with their ex, and that they don't feel the need to rewrite history by taking the pictures down, but there it is - their entire past relationship situation, for you to look at whenever you please. Also, you're out one night, and someone takes a picture of you talking with someone you've run into and end up catching up with at the bar. The next thing you know, the picture is on Facebook, and you've been tagged in it. Your current partner is not happy about this, and understandably so. Even if the picture is harmless, and you both know it, it's now out there to be interpreted in a bunch of different ways by others. It really does matter what we're doing where Facebook and relationships are concerned.

What Are The Positives Of Facebook And Dating?

For couples who are happy and secure in their relationships, Facebook can be a great way to share some fun moments with themselves and their friends. Sometimes we live long distances from family and friends. Facebook is a great way to feel that we are still at least somewhat a part of each other's lives. It's great to have fun memories pop up from a year or two ago in your news feed. It can be a lot of fun to get those reminders. It also makes a clear statement to all that you and your partner are together, and that you're both happy to make sure everyone knows it.

What Are The Negatives Of Facebook And Dating?

Unfortunately, this list is much longer than the list of positives. As mentioned earlier, when you make your relationship 'Facebook official', everyone knows it. When you end that relationship, everyone also knows it. When you post these things on Facebook, you're making them public, at least to the people that you're both friends with, and to the actual public as well, depending on your privacy settings. Things always tend to seem much rosier on Facebook than they are in real life. All too often, the Messenger service is not just a way to send things privately to friends, but it's also a way for us to end up making bad choices, and getting too involved with people outside of our relationships. Many affairs have started on Facebook, and many relationships have ended as a result of that. There's also the issue of people saying way too much on Facebook. You never really know how someone is going to react after a breakup, and unfortunately, Facebook presents an opportunity to find out the hard way that your ex is not happy with your choice to move on. There's also the negative side of receiving those memory notifications. There's nothing worse than having a great day, and having a picture of you and your ex from 4 years ago pop up in your news feed. Yikes!

What To Do When Facebook Causes Dating Issues

With all of these potential dating issues that Facebook can pose, it really can seem like Facebook is trying to ruin your dating life. There are a few things that you can do to minimize damage, though. You do have the option of reporting posts that are unnecessary. You can report them. You can't control anyone else's behavior, but you can be the bigger person by not engaging. You can also take steps in the beginning stages of dating. Talking to your partner about Facebook and drawing healthy lines in the sand between your personal relationship and the things that you decide to post is a great way to get started. Also, it's probably a good idea to be aware of how much time your partner spends on social media, before getting too involved with them. Do they have a history of posting negative things about relationships? Probably not a bad idea to look back and find out. You can save a lot of headaches by addressing these things before they ever have a chance to get out of hand.

How Can You Keep Things Simple?

One of the smartest things that you can probably do if you want to keep things simple, is to leave as much of your relationship information off of Facebook as possible. Really, who cares what people on Facebook think? It's your real life relationship that matters, so if your partner isn't keen on posting relationship statuses and a million pictures, don't take it personally. There's nothing at all wrong with keeping our personal lives off of Facebook. No one has ever gotten upset over the 'nothing' that was posted on Facebook. In fact, everything you don't post is probably one less hassle that you may have to deal with at some point. If you're in a happy and healthy relationship, then you really shouldn't need to prove that to your Facebook 'friends'. The people who are actually a part of your life will be well aware of the fact that you're in a happy and healthy relationship, without you needing to plaster it all over Facebook. You will also be at an advantage if things every do end between your and your partner, because there won't be much on Facebook to indicate that your relationship has unraveled. When you get involved with someone, it's really important to make sure that their Facebook activity aligns with yours, or that if it's frequent, the posts are completely unrelated to personal life events. Which brings us to the next point.

Be Aware Of What You Are Posting

It's really important to be responsible for what you're posting on Facebook, with regards to your relationship. Are you really mad? Then go to the gym and burn off some frustration. Seriously, there is no need for you to vent those frustrations out on social media. Likewise, if your partner likes to vent publicly, you may want to consider whether or not this is a healthy situation for you to be in. Serial posters of personal issues are not the people you want to be involved with. That can turn a mildly complicated situation into an extremely complicated one. There's no need for that from either partner. Relationships can be challenging enough, without adding unnecessary fuel to the fire.

Cut Social Media Ties When You Breakup

Another important consideration when you end a relationship with someone, is that it's a really good idea to cut ties with them on social media. Particularly Facebook. There is no need for you to see what they're doing, or vise versa. It makes it much harder to get over someone when you're constantly seeing pictures of them out having fun, or getting involved with other people. Cut the ties. Seriously. There's no need to prolong a situation that is likely already quite painful. A lot of people look at cutting ties on social media as something to gasp about, but it's actually the healthy thing to do. When you decide to move on, do it all the way. Don't continue to be tortured by social media for the sake of holding onto ties. It's not worth it.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line here, is that Facebook isn't trying to ruin your dating life. However, how you choose to use Facebook can determine a lot about how happy you ultimately are in your relationship. Dating someone who isn't into being on Facebook 24/7 is a good first step. The same goes for you as well. In terms of what you do and don't post, if you have nothing to prove, then you don't really need to post every 'happy' detail of your relationship online. No good has ever come of that, and when you think about it, the couples who post the most are generally in the least successful relationships. The happiest couples you know don't need to post every detail about their relationships, and they probably don't. Use the platform wisely, sparingly, and cautiously when it comes to your relationship. Facebook can't ruin your relationship unless you give it the information necessary to do so.

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Is Facebook Trying To Ruin Your Dating Life -Xpress.com

Social media is an important part of everyone's life today. It's a great thing, but sites like Facebook can cause problems for many when it comes to dating

Is Facebook Trying To Ruin Your Dating Life -Xpress.com