When you’re not familiar with the ins and outs of online dating, it’s often hard to see the red flags of a personality. The usual signs, things like lack of eye contact when answering an accusing and trouble coming up with answers to personal questions, are lost in translation online, as the people you’re talking with are able to use the computer as a buffer. Not only can you not see their physical reaction to questions, but they have time to construct answers they feel will be pleasing– not necessarily answers that are truthful.
So how can you tell if someone you’re talking to online is as good of a catch as they seem, or if they’re actually bad news? Our XPress XPerts have found the top 3 red flags of no-good online daters.
1. He can only talk at specific times of the day
It’s nice to have a schedule, especially when it comes to online dating. But schedules are meant to be flexible! If the only time he can talk is during his lunch break at work, you have to ask yourself some pretty obvious questions: Why can he not talk from home at night? What about the weekends? He has no free time in his life other than his lunch breaks? If he only uses online dating during the same time every day and is sketchy at best as to explaining why, chances are he already has a girlfriend or wife who’s taking up his personal time.
2. You get the ‘Why haven’t you messaged me back yet?’ message
It’s natural to be excited at the thought of receiving a message from someone you’re connecting with online, but there’s a difference between anticipation and lack of patience. If you’re getting messages asking why you haven’t messaged him back yet, chances are you’ve got yourself an insecure man on your hook. He’ll likely be the one left asking one too many accusing questions about you and your male friends. Finding someone who is patient and understanding of your schedule will lead to a less stressful relationship in the future.
3. His friends are strictly off-limits
Sure everyone wants to take their time before introducing the new person in their lives to their friends, but when someone is strictly against intertwining their social life with their love life, it’s never a good sign. When guys are white liars (or, even worse, pathological liars), their biggest defense to make sure none of their lies never get exposed by keeping the source of the potentially truthful information at bay. If they’ve told you that he and his friends have gone to this exotic location or frequently hang out with that rock star, the only people who can either verify or deny those stories are the people involved with them, so he’s likely to insure that you never get the chance to ask them about the events. If you’re not meeting his friends, it’s most likely because he has something to hide.
When users are new to online dating, they often get so wound up in the thought of finding someone that they let themselves oversee obvious red flags. Being aware of potential relationship bombs will prevent you from wasting countless hours talking to someone online that’s not worth your time. Be aware and date smart!